- Do you think they're real? - They couldn't be.
"From an admirer. Not Darryl."
- Somebody's messing around. - I am not.
I don't care how much a man admires you.
He's not giving you earrings like that unless you've given him booty.
- Not everybody thinks like you. - They do, but they don't admit it.
Do you realise I have not had sex since we got to America?
Semmi, look. There she is.
- I'm going to talk to her. - Good.
Tell her you sent her the 500,000 dollar pair of earrings.
She will fall into your arms, and we can leave this god-forsaken place.
- I cannot do that. - Do something.
- Do not worry, I have a plan. - To mop your way into her heart?
- That's not fair. - Nor is me doing manual labour.
- I'm badly in need of a manicure. - Listen to you...
"I'm badly in need of a manicure."
Are you going to say something?
- Hey, Akeem! This is my sister, Patrice. - Hello, how are you?
- Akeem's from Africa. - What are you doing in New York?
- I'm a student. - What school are you going to?
I go to the University.
Which one?
The University of the United States.
I've never heard of that.
It's a very small university. We don't even have a basketball team.
Really? We've got an extra ticket for the St. John's game. Want to come?
Yes.
You can double-date with me and Darryl.
In his face! In his face!
Yes! In the face!
Why don't you take off your jacket, Akeem?
"Put it in the face," right? I like this.
- Isn't that better? - Yes, thank you very much.
Wearing clothes must be a new experience for you.
- Are you able to follow the game? - Oh, yes!
I'm following the game quite well.
What kind of games do you play in Africa? Chase the monkey?
No, we play football. I believe you call it soccer.
Yeah, right. Soccer.
That's a real cute sport. Especially the way you bounce the ball off your heads.
I don't like any sport where you don't use your hands.
Yes! Yes!
What are you doing? It's just the half-time?
This is my favourite part of the game. Will you excuse me for a moment?
Excuse me. I'll be back in a minute.
Oh, my goodness! Oh, my goodness, it is you!
I cannot believe it.
- Greetings, your Highness. - Please, stop bowing.
- I am a loyal citizen of Zamunda. - You will spill your beverages.
This is the greatest day of my life.
It was very nice meeting you, too. Excuse me.
Please! Please, may I just have my picture taken with you?
I will cherish this experience for the rest of my life.
For the rest of my life.
- Who was that? - Just a man I met in the restroom.
- Why don't you quit this job? - Because I like it here.
But you're my lady. My lady doesn't have to work.
I'll take care of you. Get you anything you want.
- What can I get you? - Nothing.
I'll get you some... coffee.
I'll be right back.
Hey, Akeem. Did you have a good time at the game?
Yes, I did.
I hope Darryl didn't offend you. He can be pretty obnoxious.
- He cannot help it. - Sit down, take a break for a minute.
You're an unusual guy.
I've never seen anybody take so much pride in mopping a floor.
"He who would learn to fly must first learn to stand and walk."
"One cannot fly into flying." That's not mine, that's Nietzsche's.
That's what I mean. The guys that work here don't quote Nietzsche.
Everybody shut up and do what I say.
Get the money out! Stay cool, nobody gets hurt.
Take the money out! All of it.
Don't stall me, fat boy. Let's go.
Come on! You're wasting my time. Come on!
Anybody move, I'll bIow your fucking head off.
What are you Iooking at, buddy?
Come on! Stop stalling.
Come on. Don't stall me. All of it!
- Come on! - Excuse me for a moment.
It would be wise for you to put the weapon down.
Who is this asshole?
Please refrain from using any more obscenities in front of these people.
I've warned you. I'll be forced to thrash you.
Fuck you!
Freeze, you diseased rhinoceros' pizzle.
Hey, fellas. I'm real proud of the job you did in there today.
We've been hit by that guy five times,
but I don't think he's coming back, thanks to my African connections.
Leave Sunday night open. I'm having a get-together at my house.
You see? He has accepted us as equals.
OK, fellas. Give them a ticket, take their keys and park the cars down the street.
When you're finished, come inside and help out in the kitchen.
Akeem, I want to show you the inside of McDowell's little castle.
This here is my showplace. It pretty much speaks for itself.
When I grew up, nine of us lived in a shack no bigger than this room.
And look what I have today.
I only wish Mrs McDowell could have lived to see it.
- You have a fine house, sir. - Thank you.
In 20 or 30 years, with hard work, maybe you could have a pIace like this.
- That would be something. - Wouldn't it?
This is where you're going to be working tonight.
- Ever open a champagne bottle? - I have seen it done before.
Make sure you keep all the glasses full.
I'd better get dressed. Make yourself comfortable 'til the guests arrive.
I love the Lord. Do you understand what I'm saying? I love the Lord.
And if loving the Lord is wrong, I don't want to be right.
Hi, Mike. Good to see you. Enjoy, drink up. Lots more where that came from.
Hey, Randy! Good to see you. Watch out for this guy.
Big Ed, my man!
You know, I can appreciate the way you handled that dude with the gun.
I would've helped you out, except...
I had a cup of coffee in my hand. You understand, right?
I bet you learnt all that stuff fighting lions and tigers and shit.
Yes, where I'm from, we have to be very aggressive.
I'm all for that. EspeciaIIy with women.
They may not admit it...
...but they all want a man to take charge.
Tell them what to do.
That's one of the things I want to talk to you...
Darryl, your mother gets lovelier every time I see her.
- Cleo, I'd like to talk to you alone. - Sure. Excuse us.
- Mum, Dad, Grandma... - Sure, son.
I like the fries better at McDonald's, but I'd never tell Mr McDowell that.
Make sure everybody's glass is kept full.
We're about to make a very special announcement.
May I have everyone's attention, please.
Mr and Mrs Jenks, would you join me? Mother Jenks, you come up here, too.
I've just heard some news that makes me a very happy man.
Semmi, please...
Champagne.
- Thank you. - Thank you.
Okay, get going. Get out of here. Go on.
As you know, Darryl and Lisa have been going together for quite some time.
I'm pleased to announce that Darryl just popped the big question.
And Lisa happily accepted.
So as it turns out, this has become an engagement party.
Amen! Praise the Lord.
- Married? - To the bride and groom.
To the bride and groom!
To the bride and groom.
I want you and that young man to tie that knot. I'll pray for you.
And I want you to hold on to God's unchanging hand.
'Cause he helped Joshua fight the battle of Jericho.
And he helped Daniel get out of the lion's den.
He helped Gilligan get off the island. Lord!
I want to talk to you, now!
The next time you and my father plan my life, let me in on it.
- It's not like... - Don't touch me!
But baby, it's our engagement party.
Thanks.
- Would you like some champagne? - No, I don't feel like celebrating.
Wait. Sit down and keep me company.
If you're going to hang out with me, you've got to loosen up.
I can be loose. See?
Much better.
- Are you all right? - I'm fine.
But I won't be pressured into marriage, not by Darryl, my father or anybody.
I understand. In my country they arrange marriages,
but no one should marry out of obligation.
You're right. How could I even have considered marrying a guy like Darryl?
- I wondered the same thing. - He made me so furious back there.
- Do you think I overreacted? - The first reaction is often correct.
You're very easy to talk to. I feel like I could tell you anything.
Hey, Akeem. We need some more champagne over here.
I almost forgot that I was here in a domestic capacity.
Thanks for listening to me, Akeem. I really appreciate it.
Any time, Lisa McDowell.
Hey! Be careful.
I think my sister likes you.
Semmi!
Semmi.
- Come, you're going to be late for work. - So what if I am?
We cannot anger Mr McDowell. Things are going so well with Lisa.
I do not care. I'm not going to work today.
Yes, you are going to work today.
I'm sick of living like a peasant. Look at this filth.
Do you want to live better? Fine. Fix this place up.
But you are going to work today!
- Hello! - Hi!
I started on clean-up just like you guys, but now...
See, I'm washing lettuce. Soon, I'll be on fries. Then the grill.
In a year or two, I'll make assistant manager
and that's where the big bucks start rolling in.
Just two years, huh?
Maybe I've stayed with him because everyone expected me to.
- You must be tired of my problems. - No, not at all.
I feel like I owe you a favour.
Come to my house and I'll fix you dinner. Patrice will be there.
Let's go to my house. I'd like to cook for you.
- You cook? - I dabble a little, yes.
Great! Tell you what, I'll buy the groceries.
Fine. But I have to warn you. My home is very poor.
I don't care about that. I'd love to see where you live.
Welcome to my humble abode.
- What's wrong? - Nothing's wrong.
Everything's fine. Excuse me for a moment, please.
- What have you done? - You told me to fix up the place.
I should kill you! I'm supposed to be a poor man.
Akeem? Akeem.
- Is everything all right? - Everything is fine.
Excuse me, I have to tidy up.
What are you doing?
For God's sake, do not take my pocket money.
If you have no more money, you can cause no more mischief.
You are being unreasonable.
If you have ruined my chances with Lisa, I will never forgive you.
- I'm very sorry. - Can we go in now?
- No, we cannot. - Why not?
There's a big rat inside.
I think there is no rat.
You're so ashamed of your apartment you can't even let me see it.
Once again, you have judged correctly.
- If it bothers you, we can go out to eat. - That would be much better.
Excuse me for a moment, please.
- What did you give him? - I just gave him some pocket change.
- Randolph... - Leave me alone, Mortimer.
Randolph! Randolph!
- I'm still not talking to you. - Look!
Mortimer, we're back.
Yeah!
To America!
Why did you come here?
- To find something special. - It's a long way to travel.
No journey is too great, when one finds what he seeks.
- Does everyone in Africa talk like you? - Why, do you not like it?
I love it. It's nice to be with a man who knows how to express himself.
- Thank you! - Thank you very much!
Let's have lunch.
You have the most amazing effect on people.
- No, I don't. - Take the guy at the basketball game.
People love you.
I bet where you're from, women throw themselves at your feet.
- Why do you say that? - You have an inner glow.
You're above anything petty. It's almost regal.
- What did you do back home? - I was... in the family business.
- What's that? - Goat herding.
Yes, yes. Does it surprise you?
No, it's just that you seem so educated.
The life of a goat herder is easy, the goats take care of themselves.
Which leaves a man with a great deal of time to read.
- Please, let me. - No, I should pay.
Akeem, I wish you'd stop worrying about being poor.
If I wanted a wealthy guy, I'd be with Darryl.
Not you.
- Would you Iike to dance? - Yes.
What about Patrice?
I'm not interested in Patrice.
What about Darryl?
I'm not interested in Darryl, either.
- Do you actually want to send this? - Why? What is wrong?
Read it to me.
"To his Majesty King Jaffe Joffer, the Royal Palace, Zamunda."
"Sire, Akeem and I have depleted our funds."
"Kindly send 300,000 American dollars immediately,"
"as we are in dire straits. Your humble servant, Semmi."
Semmi.
- Should I make it 400,000? - Do you think that'll be enough?
You are right. 500,000.
As long as you're asking, why not go for a cool million?
- Don't you think that's too much? - Nah.
Okay, what's going on?
Patrice...
I came to see Akeem.
What are you involved in? You can't afford this on your salary.
Someone to kiss Someone to miss
When you're away Through here, gone each day
To be loved, to be loved Wow! What a feeling
- Quiet! People are trying to sleep. - Some wish to be a king or a queen
- Some wish for fortune and fame - Shut up!
But to be truly, truly, truly, truly loved
It must mean all of these things
Someone to care Someone to share
Lonely hours and moments of despair
To be loved, to be loved Wow! What a feeling
Semmi, I just had the most wonderful...
Hi, Akeem. Semmi told me everything.
Sorry things didn't work out between you and me, but you understand.
Goodnight, sweet prince.
Remember, you must not tell a soul.
Your secret is safe with me, your Highness. Bye...
If you're the prince, then who am I?
My servant.
They smell good. Darryl must be spending a fortune on flowers.
Stay out of this, Dad.
- Where are you going? - To a museum. With Akeem.
- I don't like that one bit. - What's wrong with Akeem?
You told me yourseIf. He's a goat herder.
Why don't you marry Darryl? He dresses nice, he treats you good.
You only like Darryl because he's rich.
I don't want you to have to struggle like your mother and I did.
I know. Bye, Daddy.
Come in.
- You boys wanted to see me. - We would like to change apartments.
Goddamn! What the hell have you done in here?
My friend Semmi has altered the apartment, so we would like to change.
This stuff ain't hot, is it?
No, but I'm bringing a young lady up, and she can't see me living like this.
I'll let you boys stay in my apartment and I'll move up here.
- Does your apartment look poor? - It's a real shithole. You'll love it.
Here are the keys. It's apartment 1A. Downstairs. First floor.
Thank you, you're too kind. Semmi, move our things.
I have a date with Lisa. Isn't that wonderful?
Who in the hell is that?
What's up, brother? You're a little late for the Christmas pageant.
I'm King Jaffe Joffer, ruler of Zamunda.
Have a seat. Chair number two will be ready in a second.
This is beautiful. What is that - velvet?
I have come for my son Akeem.
- Who? - You know, Kunta.
- The boy upstairs. - He live upstairs on the fifth floor.
Who's going to clean up the flowers?
You may enter.
- You are not Akeem. - I know that.
- What is this? - A photograph.
What is this "McDowell's"?
It's a place over on Queens Boulevard. I think he works there.
My son works?!
- Where is he now? - He moved to apartment 1A.
Your Majesty. What are you doing here?
I received your telegram. Where is Akeem?
He went out. How was your flight? Comfortable, I trust.
Your job was to look after Akeem. How could you let this happen?
Akeem will not listen to me, he's gone quite mad.
Semmi...
You've disgraced yourself, and you must be punished.
You will confine yourself to our royal suite at the Waldorf-Astoria.
See that he puts on some decent attire. And bathe him thoroughly.
Thank you, your Majesty!
Look, Zamunda! That's where you're from, isn't it?
- What's it like? - It's the most beautiful place on earth.
The people are very friendly, and you... You, they would treat Iike a queen.
People will see us.
Then let them see. Lisa...
- Let us go. - Now?
Yes. Right now.
Darryl, come by the house tonight. About 9 p.m.
Lisa will be home by then.
Don't worry about it, we'll work something out.
Okay, see you later.
There's some people here to see you.
- Are they from McDonald's? - I don't think so.
What can I do for you?
This is King Jaffe Joffer, ruler of Zamunda.
- He's searching for his son Akeem. - Your son?
- Yes, my son, the Prince. - Prince? Are you serious?
Prince Akeem is the sole heir to the throne of Zamunda.
I knew there was something special about that boy.
- Can you tell us where he might be? - He's out with my lovely daughter Lisa.
I'm staying at the Waldorf-Astoria. When you see him, call me.
- I'll tell him you're here. - No.
Do not alert him to my presence. I shall deal with him myself.
- For your trouble. - Thank you, your Royalness.
A prince!
Wait! We cannot go in.
Why not?
Wait in the car. I will be right back.
- We must leave. - I don't care about the apartment.
It's not that. I feel like I'm rushing you.
No, you're not.
- It's better if we take our time. - But I want to.
It's better if I take you home.
Look who's here! Akeem, it's good to see you.
- It's good to see you, too. - Have a drink.
- I have to get going, Mr McDowell. - You have time for one drink.
Get out of here, dog.
We don't spend enough time talking.
Perhaps some other time, I have to get going.
Sit down, I'll be right back with that drink.
King Jaffe Joffer's room, please.
Hello, King. Cleo McDowell here.
Both the kids are here, together.
2432 Derby Avenue, Jamaica Estates. Right.
King, I was wondering if... Hello, King?
- I really have to go, sir. - No. Have a seat right here.
Did you want ice in that?
Excuse me, I'll be right back.
- Who was that? - Jehovah's Witness.
Excuse me.
She doesn't like you anymore. Get that through your greasy head!
But you told me to come over.
Now, where were we?
I warned you, didn't I? Dottie, get him!
I appreciate your hospitality, but I have to get going.
You can stay a little while longer.
I just put some delicious hors d'oeuvres in the oven... son.
Let me go see if they're ready.
- Lisa, I must leave. - Is something wrong, Akeem?
I'll tell you when the time is right, but now I must go.
Tell your father goodbye for me.
- Where's Akeem? - He had to leave.
- He can't leave! - What is going on?
And why are you so nice to Akeem all of a sudden?
I like the boy.
- What are you up to? - What? Nothing.
A man's got a right to change his mind.
- Daddy... - You two make a beautiful couple.
- Daddy... - He's a real fine young man.
- Dad! - Okay, Lisa. He's rich. He is rich!
- What? - He's got his own money.
When I tell you he's got his own money, I mean the boy has got his own money.
A prince. He's a prince!
Lisa, you did it this time. You hit the jackpot!
Your goat herder makes Darryl look Iike a welfare case.
I will get out here.
That'll be nine bucks.
Good news, Akeem. We've been rescued.
- Where are my parents? - They've gone to the McDowell's.
- Come with me. - Where are we going?
Back to Queens.
Look who's here! Come in, come in.
WeIcome to Casa de McDowell's. Come right in.
- Where is Akeem? - He just stepped out.
Probably went for a pizza. You know these youngsters.
This must be your lovely wife. How are you today?
Very well, thank you.
I don't know whether to shake your hand, kiss it or bow or what.
I feel like break dancing.
Come in, have a seat, take a load off. Your son ought to be back in a minute.
- Try the Lazy-Boy. It's comfortable. - It's very nice.
Put your feet up.
Here you go, King. Try one of these pigs in a blanket.
They're the frozen kind, but you'd never know it.
You told me my son was here.
My daughter Lisa might know where he went. They've gotten quite close.
Where is your daughter? I must speak to her at once.
Lisa? There's someone here to see you.
This is Akeem's father. The King!
Leave us.
- I understand you're seeing my son. - I was seeing him.
So you know about his wife in Zamunda?
- He's married? - No, but he will be soon.
We've already chosen his bride. So you see...
...he cannot be serious about you.
Akeem came to America to... sow his royal oats.
Excuse me, I need to be alone.
Are you comfortable, Miss... I'm not sure what to call you.
- My name is Cleo. - Nice to meet you. My name's Aoleon.
Aoleon. Aeolon...
Lisa, where are you going? I want you to meet the Queen.
- Are you all right, my dear? - I'm sorry. I have to get out of here.
What's the matter, baby?
What did you say to my daughter?
The truth. That Akeem could not be interested in her.
- How can you be so sure? - Our son can't consort with such a girl.
Now, wait a minute!
Oha...
You have been inconvenienced, and I'm prepared to compensate you.
- Shall we say 1 million dollars? - No way.
- 2 million. - You can't buy my daughter off.
- Nonsense! - Jaffe, apoIogise to Mr McDowell.
I will not. The man is beneath me, and so is his daughter.
I don't give a damn who you are. This is America, Jack.
You say one more word about Lisa, and I'll break my foot off in your ass.
- Pardon me? - What's everybody yelling about?
Their son, the Prince, loves your sister, but the King can't handle it.
No, he's not. The Prince is in love with me.
- Are you all right? - Yes, Mother. I'm fine.
Why are you hugging him? He's just the servant.
He's the Prince.
Who told you that?
- You mean Akeem's the Prince? - Yeah, and he's in love with Lisa.
How come she always gets the good ones?
- Where is Lisa? - Your daddy ran her off.
- What did you tell her? - It is of no consequence.
- We shall return to Zamunda at once. - I will not Ieave without Lisa.
So you do care for her?
Mother, I love her.
Then go after her.
- Akeem! I forbid you. - Put a sock in it, Jaffe. The boy's in love.
Darryl, what happened?
- Lisa dumped me. - I know. You poor thing.
The first thing we have to do is get you out of these wet clothes.
Stop!
Lisa!
I will be fine by myself.
Lisa, please.
I did not mean to hurt you.
Well, at least I know who gave me these.
You can keep them, 'cause I don't want them...
...and I don't want you.
Just leave me alone!
Lisa, please. I love you.
What about the woman you are supposed to marry?
I don't love her. Why do you think I came here?
Your father told me - to sow your royal oats.
I came to America to find my bride. I came to Queens to find you.
So why did you lie to me? Why didn't you just tell me you were a prince?
I wanted you to love me for who I am.
- I'm not sure who you are. - I'm the man you fell in love with.
Should it matter that I am a prince?
It shouldn't, but I...
Say you never loved me, and I won't bother you again.
It just wouldn't work out, we're too different.
You're royalty, for God's sake.
Do you want me to renounce my throne? I will.
I renounce my throne. I am no longer the Prince of Zamunda.
I renounce my throne!
Does this make you happy?
I can't let you do that.
I do not care about my crown.
All I care about is you.
Marry me, Lisa.
- So, what do you think? - Go on, honey. Take a chance.
Look, I'm sorry. I can't. Goodbye, Akeem.
If you're really a prince, I'll marry you.
Look at it this way. At least we learned how to make French fries.
You're still not speaking to me.
- I only want our son to be happy. - And so do I.
Aoleon, please. It is out of our hands. The girl told him no.
After the way you treated her, who could blame her?
Even if she said yes, they still couldn't marry. It's against the tradition.
WeII, it is a stupid tradition.
- Who am I to change it? - I thought you were the King.
Your Highness. We have not come to that part yet.
Your Highness. Your Highness!
Would you really have given this up for me?
Of course. If you like, we can give it all up now.
Nah!
Wait a minute, wait a minute! Stop right there.
Listen! Stop right there a minute.
A man goes in to a restaurant. Are you listening?
A man goes into a restaurant. He sits down and has a bowl of soup.
He says to the waiter, "Come, taste the soup".
The waiter says, "Is there something wrong with the soup?" "Taste the soup."
"Is the soup too hot?" "Will you taste the soup?"
"Is the soup too cold?" "Will you just taste the soup!"
"All right, I'll taste the soup. Where's the spoon?"
What do you know from funny, you bastard?